https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=136914The most recent Blog Entries by the User "incoherentpanickedscreaming" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=605920https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=605920I own an old golden necklace with a little ladybug pendant.  It drapes against my collarbones delicately; the way most thin gold chains do.  The ladybug isn't any bigger than the tip of my index finger.  A long time ago it was the size of my thumb.  I would press the ladybug into my thumb and bring it to my lips; I believed it would bring good luck.  I would wear it every day, underneath my t-shir...Sat, 25 Feb 2023 01:50:36 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=582393https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=582393I remember being sixteen and suicidal.  I didn't think I'd make it to eighteen.  I didn't even want to be eighteen.  The idea of being an adult terrified me.  Because if being a teenager was this bad, how much worse would it be to be an adult?  My eighteenth birthday came and went.  Nothing changed.  The world didn't combust, the sky didn't turn red; the world kept turning and life went on. I reme...Sun, 05 Feb 2023 09:12:00 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=556565https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=556565I can't quite explain the exact emotions I'm feeling now.   The mystery of my grocery store crush is over.  They have a girlfriend.  Without the chase, there's no reason to continue with all of this.  There's disappointment for sure.  With feelings this strong, it only makes sense.  But I don't know if I'm actually heartbroken.  Since I saw it coming.  I've never been the kind to attract romantic ...Sat, 14 Jan 2023 05:36:28 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=552592https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=552592There's this girl who always goes to the grocery store.  At least I think it's the same girl.  She's always wearing something different.   Not just in the way of changing outfits, but in the way of becoming a different person.  But she always where's these square tortious shell classes.  She wore a sweatsuit that was bright pink.  She had earphones in her ears, and she was mouthing the lyrics.  I ...Sun, 08 Jan 2023 03:28:34 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=536255https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=536255My sister always said once you dream about them you are gone for.  Well... I guess I'm gone for then.  It wasn't even the type of dream you may be thinking of.  We were just... talking.  It was nice.  Upon waking up, however, I was very frustrated.  Considering just yesterday I was contemplating moving on and last night my brain supplied on exactly why that would be hard to do. My friend is hellbe...Thu, 15 Dec 2022 01:46:10 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=532180https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=532180I always knew I'd be the type to fall fast and fall hard.  I just assumed it would be with someone I already knew.  I don't think I could have ever predicted gaining a massive crush on someone I've seen a total of maybe three times.  But somehow from those three interactions my mind has been riddled with thoughts of him.  At first, my reaction was frustration and anger.  I couldn't figure out why ...Thu, 08 Dec 2022 23:54:55 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=530726https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=530726I was leaving for class around noon today, like I do every Tuesday, and when I stepped outside I was greeted with a nice cool winter breeze.  The weather is still warm enough to go outside only wearing a long sleeve tee.  I've been listening to my girly pop playlist today, which has been an interesting change of pace from listening to nothing but my sad/angry playlist.  I feel like I've been able ...Tue, 06 Dec 2022 22:03:03 +0000