https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=144612The most recent Blog Entries by the User "Nox" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=211832https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=211832So quite a bit happened since I last posted and someone commented and gave me very words to my feelings thank you.  But I think my self help work is fading and sister is makeing it worse without her knowing. One night My 2 sisters, ones boyfriend, and me were drinking and it was nice but my younger sister always has to start asking questions and it got kinda deep and I just kept drinking and I con...Thu, 13 Jan 2022 06:44:19 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=184548https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=184548The person I thought I was going to vent to I have basically ghosted them. When met we hit it off really really quickly and he was really sweet and good top me we have talked to each other for 2 weeks for the 1st few days I felt calm with him them I normally would with any other person even family. Then I just felt nothing when we would talk I was trying to pay attention to him but I couldn't I co...Wed, 15 Dec 2021 05:31:28 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=163391https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=163391Jees I thought we were passed this I thought I could forget how they were that if I pretend it never happened or it was never said I never heard it. I was doing better and then my sisters problems got worse for her she frustrates me yes but I still listen to her I try to be there even when she pisses me off. She told our other sister and you know what she fucking does tells her shit "oh now it's t...Wed, 01 Dec 2021 16:16:29 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=52276https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=52276Today I went out to a family friend to take her daughter trick or treating it was us together a d I felt I would say happy but I felt free like emotionally I had done my make up like the joker but my style and I felt free like I had no thoughts we left around 8 or 9 and went to the store I wear my mask all the time but I didn't have like any so not wanting to say anything I went in with out one bu...Mon, 01 Nov 2021 09:00:30 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=49137https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=49137Working on my own mental health is quite a journey I am better then I was befor I think if i didn't start trying I would have gotten worse. But I still don't feel like I can talk to someone one that i love with for support and I don't really have friends the ones I have live across the world and I don't want them to know for some reason idk. ⚠️⛔([Warning:Metion of eating and weight maybe self harm...Tue, 26 Oct 2021 09:12:04 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=45070https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=45070Haha 😄  you know what I realized today like right this moment. I know now why I hardly remember my childhood it was because the way mother raised me was good ya. But the way she did it was theating me. Ya 😅😅 me my sister and my mom were having a conversation right know about my sleeping problems and brought up how I used to stay up as a kid. She said "when she would stay up I would tell her you be...Fri, 15 Oct 2021 03:08:25 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=41858https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=41858So when ever I'm out or if I haven't looked at myself like in reflections or on camera I forget what I look like. When I finally see my self for the first time I think that doesn't look like me or I think for a second it's a different person. When that happens i start questioning things like do people see me how I Think I Look or how I See My Self then I start getting all self consens.  These thin...Sun, 03 Oct 2021 07:41:48 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=38057https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=38057 So lately or for a while now I've been wanting and trying to talk about stuff to my mom or kinda of anyone right know but I can't. When Ever a subject comes up and i think I can bring it up slowly they kind if backhand it. Like I love my mom I do but when I hypothetically bring something up or say something slightly like my problem she says something insulting about it like if to say " that's not...Sun, 19 Sep 2021 08:20:44 +0000