https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=2220759The most recent Blog Entries by the User "shy" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2080156https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2080156How can I yearn for someone who doesn't even existFri, 06 Feb 2026 00:40:40 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2074440https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2074440every second every minute every hour every day it never ends it never ends every second every minute every hour every day it never ends it never ends every second every minute every hour every day it never ends oh it never endsSun, 01 Feb 2026 06:28:55 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2072340https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2072340not that i am particularly embarassed of my writing, because i know my words hold weight. the way i word things and the way i describe them. i go into detail most wouldn't expect to get into. i hold opinions and values and thoughts most wouldn't have considered. i know i make people feel yet i am so EMBARASSED I'M SO EMBARASSED ALL THE TIME AND I CAN'T SPELL EMBARASSED RIGHT "whats your book about...Fri, 30 Jan 2026 05:56:40 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2072328https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2072328Don't remember ages or years. Probably between 2020-2023. It all probably realistically spanned between 2020-2021. Whether this be due to the supernatural or second hand meth psychosis, I will not debate it. I guess the most prevalent occurrence would be the weird thing outside that we all just called Melvin. He looked like a man yet he was not. He was a bit taller than the average one, maybe arou...Fri, 30 Jan 2026 05:42:49 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2069573https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2069573i hate my job cuz wdym you ask me to stay late every day, work at other stores constantly, ask me to come in on my days off, come in early, and i say YES TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE, MIND YOU. but the sECOND the SECOND MY DRIVEWAY HAS COMPACTED ICE FROM THE SNOW STORM and i'm a 19 y/o living alone with NO PARENTS and NO SHOVEL youre mad youre mad i can't come into work youre ???? omfg.Tue, 27 Jan 2026 20:50:39 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2067607https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2067607and i knew you were a liar when you touched me for the first time i could tell your touch was tainted and it was false it was false and it was cold and i knew that because your hands were warm. too warm to be real or anything serious because no one who has a genuine heart has ever had warm hands  and i knew you were a liar when you told me i was the prettiest girl you'd ever seen because i am not ...Mon, 26 Jan 2026 03:59:10 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2067605https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2067605I want every girl who ever wanted to know me to read this. I find peace within the novels and words I write because it was the only escape from the thing I wanted the most.  There's something loud inside of me and it's starting to get louder. I step silently and I clear my throat before I speak. I make sure the door is shut before I untwist the knob, and I make sure the music doesn't rise above 10...Mon, 26 Jan 2026 03:55:00 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2050764https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2050764I hate it when I listen to Avril Lavigne and I think of my mother. And I also hate it when I'm wearing a tight fitting Abercrombie shirt and I see her in the reflection, twenty again. Wondering why my dad didn't love her the way she wanted. Why the wrong man got her pregnant. And what about her could her mother not love?Mon, 12 Jan 2026 03:38:07 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1878484https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1878484I'm underqualified for a life of direction. Despite the gazes, the awes, the sonnets and the songs, truly at my core, I despise what I see flying in the glass reflection. The daunting manner of which my off centered eyes gaze upon my own flesh and wings sickens me. For what am I if nothing but a hybrid? A lost cause to nature herself? Nothing but a malfunction, a mistake. For am I a dragon, or a f...Fri, 15 Aug 2025 04:49:57 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1574558https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1574558by alesana, don't look at poe. i keep imagining this guy, he's on stage. you can't see his face. you can never see his face. he wears a top hat, like he's a magician or ringleader in a circus. you know the type. he wears a masquerade mask, but his eyes glow when he sings. he's only the singing vocals, not the backup scream/metal vocals. you can't really see his bandmates faces either. you can see ...Fri, 02 May 2025 03:18:55 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1444770https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1444770GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE INTO THE PLEASURE MAKE IT LAST FOREVER GIVE...Tue, 25 Feb 2025 05:27:17 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413416https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413416my biological father refused to move to SC with my mother and be a part of our family. he visited twice throughout my childhood, only to see my mother, and never hung out with me those times. he reconnected with me after i left foster care at age 12, and last year, he blocked me because i didn't text him first for a month because i was homeless, evicting my mother, and trying to get a job. my youn...Mon, 10 Feb 2025 04:57:50 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1366371https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1366371trying to write an autobiography but in the sense of "what if my mom never lost custody of me or my siblings?" and  tonight i tried to write it to cool off because all night i've been triggered to hell and upset and mad at the world. feeling like i used to when i lived in that house. but after sitting down and writing it out, all i want to write about is my normal novels. writing about my "what if...Mon, 20 Jan 2025 04:40:58 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1328085https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1328085this has made me so mad and i can't not let it make me mad it won't go away. i miss writing the paragraphs on how we fell in love & how much of a fairytale it was because now all i have to write is HOW MAD YOU MAKE ME YOU DUMB DUMB FUKCING PERSON i love you so much YOU MAKE ME SO MAD i'm listening to suicide silence i'm so seething with rage. so much has built up and i've brushed under the rug. no...Tue, 10 Dec 2024 00:33:28 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1289347https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1289347A year has passed Since I learned where you had gone So far, so longMon, 21 Oct 2024 04:44:49 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1276151https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1276151Nearly night. It drew closer, my time for departure. The darkness of my living room taunts me with visions of my demise, whether it comes as a phantom greeting me with it's twisted smile- I know it craves me. I know it wishes for my soul. Or as a daydream, others would describe a night terror, the solace gives me life. How many ways I dream of the end when truly it could never be so far away. It c...Thu, 03 Oct 2024 21:20:03 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1273028https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1273028i want to talk about that a lot more than a single paragraph. i went on a work trip for 3 and a half days 3 hours away, and even though i bawled my eyes out when i got back home because my friends didn't miss me the way i missed them, i just wanna go back. to that campsite. with all of the little cabins and RV's. with that swimming pool, and public bathroom, and the thousands of lawn chairs outsid...Mon, 30 Sep 2024 00:15:07 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1273025https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1273025tan fingernails are growing pinker as my fingers collect more dust underneath the nails, and around the edges. my veins stick out more on my hands. SHE MUST BE THE DEVIL!!!  that song is stuck in my head sorry. eyes are getting cuter bangs are swooping more hair is turning orange, a rusty orange sad. a lot romantic. a lot energized hard-working, which i never considered myself to be childish matur...Mon, 30 Sep 2024 00:10:52 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1256904https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1256904i was like maybe 4-8 during all of this. raised by my great grandmother, born 1930. old soul. church every sunday, a woman born to be a mother. i couldn't do a lot by myself, never could, i was spoiled to death. i asked her to get me early from school one day. as in, get me out of class during the day, to my surprise she said yes.  all day i waited yet i left when all of the other kids did. she wa...Mon, 09 Sep 2024 05:47:12 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1246456https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1246456it means she's just like her mom she'll up lonely and sad she'll end up alone and sad with rings in her mouth with guns in her house with holes in her house where did your spine go? i know i've got none is it your heart that breaks first, fragile bonesMon, 26 Aug 2024 07:24:12 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1244045https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1244045As the moonlight showers in the night through the small cracks in the leaves, the forest taunts the passenger. Limb over limb, branch over branch, just the same, he recognizes somFri, 23 Aug 2024 06:27:52 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1241856https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1241856there's a painful difference in hot and cold.  when i thought of the heat, i thought of bleached hair. i thought of bloody knees, and i thought about ketchup stains on white t-shirts. i thought of skipping gym class, and math class, and i thought about broken shards of glass poking into your fingers everytime you type onto a broken phone. i think about green eyes, the tan skin of a boy with sun sp...Tue, 20 Aug 2024 07:53:43 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1236533https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1236533i enjoyed tucking them in. i enjoyed making sure they got the comfy pillow. i enjoyed turning off the lights. i enjoyed setting their alarms after realizing they were too asleep to do it themselves. i enjoyed that.Mon, 12 Aug 2024 02:38:40 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1234476https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1234476a catapult exists with one of the silliest names. "constianapull!" i used to say everyday as a child. things like those, we don't quite fully get it, we don't fully understand it, we haven't yet learned.  in the unknown, as children, we react with a laugh. at these silly names. how hard it was to pronounce my neighbors name, spagetti, or to this day, filet mignon.  in the unknown, as we get older,...Fri, 09 Aug 2024 01:20:08 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1231292https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1231292the visit (2015). some insight to my trauma with this movie, i was 9 when my dad rented this from redbox and played it for us at 10PM in the living room. some more insight, i lived, slept, and was raised by my great grandmother. so the ultimate outcome of this movie was not the best for me. looking back now that i'm older, the twist was extremely predictable and it doesn't have the best scares any...Sun, 04 Aug 2024 20:45:53 +0000