https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=2895887The most recent Blog Entries by the User "rayray ✧" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1946889https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1946889there’s been something seriously wrong lately. tears i’d fight at thanksgiving dinner from my allergies to the dogs are suddenly tears i’m fighting because i want to go home. but i am home. i’m sitting at my dinner table, my mom to my left and my aunt to my right, my baby cousin crawling under the table, and suddenly i want to go home. nothing tastes the same anymore and i feel sick with want and ...Tue, 14 Oct 2025 01:04:09 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1940160https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1940160i used to always just open a new blog post with absolutely no plan as to what i was gonna say. i don't do that now, however, and i deleted most of the ones in which i did. but i'm bored and too lazy to think of a structure, so i'm just winging it tonite boyz. look at me being more spontaneous and shit. one day i'm gonna be all famous (because i will not accept a life any less than that. if it ends...Wed, 08 Oct 2025 03:14:15 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1826775https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1826775happy 25/25!! i know this happens twelve times in the year but shush i just noticed it now. today was weird. i was on instagram live drawing and this one person in my chat was asking questions like "have you ever sold drugs" and another person was telling me about their dead grandmother who wasn't actually dead i don't think??? anyhow it was just really uncomfortable. i don't think i'll go on thei...Sat, 26 Jul 2025 05:02:53 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1823541https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1823541contrary to popular belief i'm actually trying really hard not to relapse. so i'm trying to distract myself. hence why i'm typing this. i'm awfully sad tonight. my best friend was with her boyfriend again today and my online friends live close to each other and hung out and i'm in a totally different country. i just kinda wish people wanted to hang out with me. i don't think i'm always the one ask...Fri, 25 Jul 2025 06:09:24 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1805676https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1805676the alternative title to this is "i hate you for leaving me here" but i felt that was a bit harsh. i still think it, however. i do hate you for leaving me here and going on and being so happy without me. you understand i can't live without you, right? and that truly i have no purpose if not to see you smile? well, i guess that's not right. i have someone else, someone who would never dream of aban...Sun, 20 Jul 2025 05:42:15 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1805655https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1805655so there went half my summer only seeing you and you only seeing me. i love you. not romantically, i don't think i'm capable of loving anyone like that, but from the bottom of my heart, i love you. every time i think of you it's like i'm back in sylvan and i'm swimming with the minnows. i wish you could have gone with me, it would have been less lonely with you. hopefully this august you will. i w...Sun, 20 Jul 2025 05:34:42 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1797099https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1797099dear my sweetest jackrabbit you were cruel i will admit grind your teeth and throw a fit you're still a habit i won't quit i'm so angry i can't breathe i still see your eyes iThu, 17 Jul 2025 06:01:32 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1793391https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1793391please dni: -the basics (racists, homophobes, abelists, etc) -trumpies -proshippers (find a better coping mechanism, you're future pedophiles because lord knows none of you are over 14 years of age.) -terfs -if you think trans guys can be lesbians -cream cheese enjoyers. /j -people who will tell me "it's not that deep" (IT IS.) -i don't care how old you are just don't be weird pls -if we have lite...Wed, 16 Jul 2025 03:08:43 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1574562https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1574562holy shit she texted me. she texted me first. like unprovoked. she hasn’t texted me first in months. i saw the message in my notifications and i felt such a weight lifted off my shoulders, but also simultaneously like everything around me just crumbled to the ground. i haven’t responded. i’ll wait. she doesn’t respond immediately so i won’t either. fuck this is insane. anyway glad we held onto may...Fri, 02 May 2025 03:22:08 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1560576https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1560576i’ve accepted the fact that if i’m going to be friends with them then i’ll have to put in the most effort. that’s just how some friendships are. but i can’t lose them. i haven’t talked to them in two weeks and these two weeks have been hell. genuine depression central. so i’ll just coordinate all our hangouts and check in on them and send them reels that remind me of them. it’s okay. i’m okay. it’...Fri, 25 Apr 2025 14:21:32 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1529794https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1529794i pinned our messages on instagram the second i downloaded the app so i could see them every time i opened it. but now that we don’t talk anymore, i still see our messages first. however i can’t bring myself to unpin our chat. so ill just stare at your profile picture and wait for you to text me. you won’t. you posted a story today with another friend. our friend. that isn’t me. you were at the ma...Sat, 12 Apr 2025 05:12:09 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1516604https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1516604the only thing i can think of to start this is by saying how much a hate them both. but that would be a lie. you don’t text people you hate asking if you’re still friends. you don’t apologize to people you hate for trying so hard to have what we used to have. you don’t scroll back in your messages with people you hate and wonder what you did wrong. they said it’s okay. they said they’re sorry for ...Sun, 06 Apr 2025 03:02:29 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1478265https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1478265the summer previous the one that you and i shared a new religion was created one that idolizes a goddess one that follows specific virtues and ideals one that worships you and i may be the only subscriber to this faith but i pray to you every night begging and pleading for you to answer me for you to hold me in your holy arms for you to take away all my sorrows for you to cherish me the way i do y...Fri, 14 Mar 2025 18:44:49 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1473204https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1473204i’m gonna call my ex boyfriend j on here. i think i’ve said his name before but i probably shouldn’t. jst for like privacy yk. we agreed to stay friends but he barely spoke a word to me yesterday. and yeah i know he probably is upset but like he knows no one will talk to me if he doesn’t cuz all my friends were his friends first. so it was jst like rlly quiet and lonely yesterday. it’s so weird. t...Tue, 11 Mar 2025 18:37:05 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1466518https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1466518i broke up with my boyfriend. about half an hour ago. i realized i didn't see him romantically and just wanted to be friends. why can't i differentiate romantic and platonic feelings? i always just end up hurting others and myself. i'm trying to hard to make this like pete wentz's livejournal. i can't help it. pete wentz's livejournal is the most poetic and true thing i've seen. wFri, 07 Mar 2025 19:02:16 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1436432https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1436432apologize to me with sugar-mint kisses your words are too bittersweet for me hold my hand and look away, cuz baby that’s just business be with me in awkward company periwinkle peaking through your bedroom window october slips away through the cracks of the mirror stare into my eyes as you would the sun light the match up, watch them all burn don’t ask where the rhyme scheme went idk eitherFri, 21 Feb 2025 05:59:02 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413404https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413404got the title from hold me like a grudge by fall out boy. i adore fall out boy. if you couldn’t tell by my pfp and layout and instagram and tiktok and personality. i didn’t eat until like 6:00 pm today and i was really hungry but i was at my dad’s house and i was too scared to get food cuz like its not my house yk. like it’s my dad’s house, it’s not my home. i was just a guest. so i just starved. ...Mon, 10 Feb 2025 04:40:46 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412787https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412787i don’t want to hear your voice and your probably don’t want to hear mine either that’s why i don’t sing my own songs because i know you’re listening and you know i’m writing about youSun, 09 Feb 2025 21:11:08 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1411309https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1411309i took a buzzfeed quiz that this morning that guessed my emo celebrity crush. i got patrick stump. it was correct. there was a question in it that went along the lines of “describe yourself in one word” and one of the answers was blatherskite . blatherskite -  noun a person who talks at great length without making much sense. if that doesn’t describe me then i don’t knSun, 09 Feb 2025 03:19:31 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1408835https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1408835aita for making my friends think i killed myself i (15f) texted my 2 best friends (both 15f) in our group chat “i love you guys” and put my phone on airplane mode so they would think im committing suicide i thought it would be funny to phrase that as a reddit post, forgive me but now i’m really starting to think i’m like psychotic or something do people do that? surely not. they’ve been distant fo...Sat, 08 Feb 2025 02:59:41 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1379983https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1379983i did absolutely nothing today except for watch world's strictest parents and eat a quesadilla. like literally nothing. i left my room twice i think and 1 was to make the quesadilla. anyway i have a constant need to steal my mom's cigarettes and i've never even smoked before. i think it's less of the nicotine craving and more of a need to feel something and the adrenaline rush from stealing. i ste...Mon, 27 Jan 2025 02:30:14 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1377617https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1377617i was supposed to go to my dad's house today but i had a panic attack and my mom let me stay home. i have nothing against my dad, he's great. it's just not my house. it's uncomfortable and i sleep in a basement (which i sleep in a basement at my mom's house too but like it's my room and i have a bed and i dont have to sleep in the same room as my brother blegh). i should probably see my dad more a...Sun, 26 Jan 2025 00:56:59 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1376906https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1376906i wish someone would stalk by pinterest, my instagram, my spacehey, my tumblr, my anything like i stalk theirs i wish someone would scroll through hundreds of those "your initials, your ____" videos searching for ours like i do for all my friends i wish someone would tell me random things they think of just to start a conversation like i do to everyone i wish someone would make something just to s...Sat, 25 Jan 2025 19:35:55 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1375616https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1375616i've tried 2 keep journals b4 but writing hurts my hands a lot so maybe typing will be better. so um hi idk who i'm talking 2 (idk if i'm even talking 2 anyone (probably not but i'm gonna pretend like i am) but i hope u enjoy my pains and suffering, shit i get way too excited abt, and rants abt my fav things just some about me: -my name is ray -i was given emily when i was born but me nor any of m...Sat, 25 Jan 2025 02:55:39 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1310420https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1310420i slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid sing written about me - fall out boy what a catch donnie - fall out boy don't you know who i think i am? - fall out boy get busy living or get busy dying - fall out boy allie - patrick stump let's cheers to this - sleeping with sirens (one of those) crazy girls - paramore fences - paramore tell me it's okay - paramore mercenary - p...Tue, 19 Nov 2024 02:14:05 +0000