https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=3188830The most recent Blog Entries by the User "Fay" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1416741https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1416741im back together with my ex I doubt some people want to hear this if they've read my other blogs I can say for certain he was not being routed for  but I love him and I believe he won't do me wrong again so I don't care what others think im going to have a happy life with himTue, 11 Feb 2025 21:40:38 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1416738https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1416738hes violent  he rips inside of me  tearing my heart out  he chews it in front of me blood dripping from his chin only the trees are here  growing new hearts  producing more fruits  introducing fresh life  I grab a heart putting in inside the empty hole  he watches as he runs out of flesh to chew  he comes back yet the hole is filled now with a gate he doesn't know he's vioTue, 11 Feb 2025 21:39:04 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414800https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414800the scarecrow, I feel it lurking  I can't shake this feeling its watching  it knows it can never part from me we're soul tied  when I die  it will capture my soul ill be put inside its heart  I will follow him to his next target we all will get along  we will bond over the scarecrows heart we will feel loved  this was his goal  scared in life, comforted in deatTue, 11 Feb 2025 00:20:21 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414775https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414775my heart is bleeding out I reach in my chest and take it out ow  that hurt but now, i can't feel I put the heart in a box  sealed away  with no one to seek it out  it still pumps I hear it  but I can't feel  my insides are empty  my organs all mushed togther now that my heart is missing  but now, I can't feel you reach inside  but there's nothTue, 11 Feb 2025 00:10:07 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414268https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414268so if any of my friends have read my blogs they would know I have issues with saying no when it comes to showing my body. I think they used that against me cause one of my "friends" messaged me asking to sext with me. and you know what the fuck I did. I sexted him. I literally do this to myself, it's not his fault it's mine.  I'm like the Radiohead song. you do it to yourself, you do. and that's w...Mon, 10 Feb 2025 18:28:22 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414262https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1414262I have a date coming up. I'm excited but a little off put. he wants to smoke weed with me while driving. not to say ive never drove high but as a first date?  also  I don't know how to go on a date without the guy wanting sex too. he hasn't said anything about it and I don't know what to think. am I not pretty to him? that's a bad way of thinking. maybe he just wants to get to know me... I don't k...Mon, 10 Feb 2025 18:23:25 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413344https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413344I have a hard time saying no Mon, 10 Feb 2025 03:54:05 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413296https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413296guys  life is strange is such a good video game I have replayed it soo much  the main charscters are just like me and my friend Mon, 10 Feb 2025 03:26:55 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413267https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413267I have a mental disorder can be paired with sleep paralysis  I can't sleep without getting touched  I can't move I can't stop it  my memories torment me  I get touched by these figures I don't know  I can't stop them  I cant move  the memories of my assaults manifested into my paralysis  I can't escape the touching  not even in my sleep I will never be free from the assaults  can I even call it as...Mon, 10 Feb 2025 03:08:38 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413228https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1413228my body doesn't belong to me. ive shown it to those who don't love me ive shown it to those who betray me ive shown my body more than I have received love my body doesn't belong to me not anymore.. no matter how much I try to get ownership over my body  pictures and memories keep me captive captive in the mens eyes who've done me wrong captive in my own self torment my body doesn't belong tMon, 10 Feb 2025 02:47:11 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412861https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412861her hands the way her hands grasp mine I can't get the image out of my head her hands her hands her hands I want our hands to be interlocked forever the comfort it brings me it overwhelms meSun, 09 Feb 2025 22:01:44 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412853https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412853me ex. he thinks were taking a break. just a break. I'm over him! really! \ did he rape me? yes  did I forgive him? yes  but then why did he chat. I'm so understanding so I almost forgave him again. maybe that's not being understanding. maybe that's just being a fucking pushover. yes I know I'm a pushover but why did he rape me then cheat on me... I didn't deserve this. do I subconsciously just go...Sun, 09 Feb 2025 21:57:56 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412841https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412841don't touch me! your fine it will only be a second  but your dirty. his rot consumed me  his filthy hands  his dirty soul  his petrifying dick  why did I like it? hes dirty, he's careless  why did I like it  how does he touch me so good  I wanted him to stop  I needed him to stop  but is it rlly rape when you feel good is it really rape when he loves me is this love?Sun, 09 Feb 2025 21:49:17 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412758https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1412758not enough time to accomplish everything,  so I accomplish nothing,  I will fade away to be forgotten  with nothing attached to my name  I will ache  I will wilt Sun, 09 Feb 2025 20:53:30 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406657https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406657I just finished making one of many dolls! I had an obsession with making little rag dolls out of socks. rather rag kittens and mice! they are so cute and my collection of them is growing. I will be making more. Fri, 07 Feb 2025 03:02:35 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406629https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406629he rlly liked the nudes but there is still a hole inside of me. he called me perfect but we haven't met in person yet. what if I'm ugly in real life?Fri, 07 Feb 2025 02:50:19 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406612https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406612I just sent nudes to a guy for the first time in my life. I'm feeling kinda bad about myself. does this mean I have no self respect. I'm an adult now so I can do what I please...but is this really what I want to do? NO I DONT. I wanna be loved not lusted.Fri, 07 Feb 2025 02:40:17 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406246https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406246there is this guy who calls me pretty. I don't know if I believe him. all I can think about is how he probably just wants to have sex with me. I'm a fucking whore so ill do whatever but isn't there a time where ill feel used? of course I need more self respect but after being cheated on I can't seem to find any. who cheats on their girlfriend with an ugly bitch...maybe I'm the ugly bitch.Thu, 06 Feb 2025 23:41:31 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406236https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406236all I think about is the never ending feeling of dread. the nuclear war is coming soon I feel it. were all gonna die and there's nothing we can do to stop it. I have hallucinations of bombs going off. the angels tell me to start making bomb shelters but how can I do that as a teenage girl with no money.  I don't know what to do. so now I just play Minecraft to get my head off of this. but the impe...Thu, 06 Feb 2025 23:38:24 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406233https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1406233guys, I feel miserable all the time. I just get high all day and do nothing. I have so many things I wanna do but I can't bring myself to do them. all I wanna do is sleep all the time and this feeling will never end. I need more drugs! Thu, 06 Feb 2025 23:36:01 +0000