https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=3191004The most recent Blog Entries by the User "astro girl" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2145588https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2145588I try to imagine what I'd say if anyone ever asked me about it. "How do you feel about him?", "do you regret it?", and so on. Truth be told, I'm not even sure about how I should feel. I want to hate him, but I don't think I have the right to considering I put myself in that situation. I stayed even though I never felt loved. All I really ever did feel was used, hurt, and lied to. The need to feel ...Wed, 15 Apr 2026 02:58:01 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2108383https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2108383Every inhale of nicotine, every wall I stare at, every night that I attempt to sleep through. Every breathe I take, I imagine how it would feel to breathe in your scent. Every time I open my eyes in defeat after another attempt at trying to fall asleep, I imagine making eye contact with you in the dead of night. Someone I've never experienced; someone I've never touched. Yet I feel so connected in...Tue, 03 Mar 2026 14:32:31 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2107488https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2107488I'm tired of the sickness that refuses to leave. It is started to infest my brain and cause more damage. I end up sleeping the day away and spending all night wondering when I will "get better". How can I get better when I never feel good enough to get out of bed anymore? The eternal guilt of being the root cause for my father struggling financially. All the medications, appointments, and days whe...Mon, 02 Mar 2026 17:55:07 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2074399https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2074399June 27, 2025. 2:11 pm. I crouch on the stairs, crying and asking my friend over the phone if she had called the police. I couldn't catch my breath as I stare at my own veins slowly being covered by blood. Finally, after what felt like hours, the cops and medics arrived. I had to face this on my own. Once my dad arrived at the hospital, I had to witness the sadness and pain in his expression. I ha...Sun, 01 Feb 2026 05:27:43 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2074387https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2074387After what had happened with the last guy I loved, I became so closed off and hard to get along with. I stopped trusting people and rarely ever let anyone get too close to me. But I gave you a chance anyway. You took my willingness to wait for you for granted. You constantly left without an explanation only to come back a few days later expecting me to just forget and give you attention. I tried s...Sun, 01 Feb 2026 05:06:42 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1698126https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1698126The day I tried to die was a day I probably will not be able to scrub from my memory for the rest of my life. 13 pills in under 15 minutes, and over 24 hours of IV's hooked up to me, and trauma that I will forever have to deal with. The look of my friend who had come to my house and called the police will forever kill me. Fear, hurt, sadness, and utter disbelief. It haunts me. Three days in a ment...Mon, 16 Jun 2025 03:08:58 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1694727https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1694727wayyyy too much happened in the past few months, im going to try and get back into writing though because it helped me.............. but yayyyy Sun, 15 Jun 2025 02:39:31 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1537862https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1537862I have seen the texts between you and her. The ones where you opened up so much more to a girl you barely knew rather than just telling me, who was the girl you were in love with. So in love with that you promised to spend forever with me, to marry me, and to always love me and never give up no matter what. I saw the things you said. The private things that you had no right to tell, the things you...Tue, 15 Apr 2025 23:58:22 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1537858https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1537858I don't want to move on. Not just because I know I can't, or because I know you were my first love so even making an attempt to forget you is pointless. But because everything lined up with us. I know in the end with all the fighting and all the arguing that you lost hope, but I know you would've loved the girl that I was when you first met me. You met me when I was at my best in life. When I was ...Tue, 15 Apr 2025 23:56:31 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1537830https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1537830I saw a deer in my dream once. I believe that ever since, my life has been cursed somehow. Some people say if you see a deer, that means you'll die soon. Others say it is a positive omen that will bring you good luck. I believe that ever since I was little, after the dream, my life was never the same again. Although, I am not dead, nothing good has come out of most of the things I have done in my ...Tue, 15 Apr 2025 23:38:30 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1535918https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1535918I hate change. Big changes. Like rearranging my room or getting a new bed because the previous one was so overused for so many years that it started to fall apart and squeak when you made the slightest movements. But by far the worst change is losing you.  It feels like taking daily medication for ages. One that makes you feel better, happier, stronger. One that makes waking up in the morning and ...Tue, 15 Apr 2025 01:20:07 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1535812https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1535812Sometimes life isn't ready for the happy part, so when you are happy, it will send you crashing down. the higher the sky scraper you are on, the more you will fall. my teacher was talking about math and how if you don't write the formula down, you'll get it wrong. If you don't remember the formula, you'll get it wrong. She tells the people who do get it wrong how to do it correctly and they just d...Tue, 15 Apr 2025 00:07:34 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1533688https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1533688I know you may not want me anymore, but please don't ghost me. You said it yourself, we could still be friends. I'm trying to act like a friend, I am trying my best to hold back the questions and the conversations I am so desperately wanting to have with you. I am dying to text you about anything and everything. I know I can't. Right now, you aren't the same person I am in love with, it's like tha...Mon, 14 Apr 2025 00:23:23 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1533638https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1533638You warned me this would happen. I didn't listen. I thought I had it under control, but I didn't. I thought that it was just another passing moment and it would all get better, but I was wrong. I didn't do anything to help it or get better, and I let my mental health deteriorate. It ruined us. I am so sorry I didn't listen when you had warned me those months ago. If you don't have good mental heal...Sun, 13 Apr 2025 23:58:44 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1533394https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1533394Losing the love of your life changes you. You lose that spark that you used to have. That warm gentle happiness you had even in the darkest moment of the relationship because you were still so in love that no matter what, you were still in a relationship with the love of your life. You were used to the daily texting. Good morning texts, worried texts when you seemed off, even just random texts, et...Sun, 13 Apr 2025 21:36:33 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1531358https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1531358Even after everything that had happened, I know that none of it was entirely your fault. Yet, I am still so hurt that I haven't been able to eat. Every time I get up, I almost pass out. You told me that you would hurt me so much more if you did not leave now, but it was a lie. Nothing will ever amount to how bad this hurts. I had so many nightmares in one night alone, I woke up shaking and feeling...Sat, 12 Apr 2025 23:16:27 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1530800https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1530800With every passing car, I hope it's you. I pray to a god that I don't even believe in that it's you coming to my house to tell me everything is going to be okay. Every time I heard a car go by, I would close my eyes and hope and wish that it was you. To be held in your embrace, kissed on the forehead, and be told it will all be okay. That is all I could ever want. I will never be able to accept th...Sat, 12 Apr 2025 18:51:56 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1525704https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1525704Rage. A feeling so intense, it makes my entire body flush with heat.  Once a rare emotion that only came out in the most dire of situations. But recently, it has been so prominent. I have massive purple bruises and discoloration on my legs from it now. All the pain, hurt, utter desperation, and sadness have built up to the point I cannot contain my emotions.  My mind has given up on painting a swe...Thu, 10 Apr 2025 22:03:08 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1513071https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1513071I am so tired of crying every single night. So, I stood staring at myself in the mirror before I got into the shower. I debated whether or not to overdose on the anxiety medication I was prescribed a year ago but never started. Why should I keep trying when there is nothing to try for? Even after opening the bottle and nearly allowing myself to overdose, I got into the shower. Leaving the unopened...Fri, 04 Apr 2025 00:04:27 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1505377https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1505377People say that love is beautiful. Easy. But I do not believe that it is. I believe true love is when you are willing to argue with someone for days, maybe even weeks, and still decide to stay by their side. Now, there are some exceptions of course, but I believe that the only way something can work is by never giving up on it. Nothing was meant to be easy. And I don't think love is easy. With lov...Sun, 30 Mar 2025 17:36:59 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1493992https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1493992You claim I am the love of your life. Say that you love me more and that you care about me so much. But if that is true, why do I not feel it? As of late, I have felt nothing but neglect from you. I have had to beg and cry for you to love me. You can't possibly think that this is okay. I spend my days wondering if we will be okay, and if you will love me again like you used to. But you do not even...Mon, 24 Mar 2025 00:10:51 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1489027https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1489027Sometimes, I truly start to wonder if I am abusing my own heart. I choose to pursue actions and decisions that I know will have disappointing outcomes, but I do them anyway. I suppose I am so desperate to feel something other than grief and despair that I continue to allow myself to communicate problems to someone with a brick wall separating our minds. It is as if I am screaming at the ocean, pra...Fri, 21 Mar 2025 02:30:30 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1453093https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1453093today i went to the mall because I was feeling sad. I decided to spend all my money and now I have four new shirts, new pants, jewelry, etc. and now I am broke and still sad.Sat, 01 Mar 2025 21:31:14 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1441233https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1441233my boyfriend has worked so hard this year, I am so exceptionally proud of him and everything he has done. he did great in sectionals and he did amazing for finals. I could not be more happy for someone in my life. he works so so so hard and I hope he knows just how great he is. he will always be my favorite swimmer. I'm so sad that swim has come to an end because this is his last year, but I will ...Sun, 23 Feb 2025 16:00:52 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1425653https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1425653I've recently been listening to Wasia Project. Such insane vocals and the way the instrumental is just as beautiful as the singing... such a masterpiece. so go and listen to Wasia Project, I promise you won't regret it :)Sun, 16 Feb 2025 02:36:20 +0000