https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=3444035The most recent Blog Entries by the User "Atlas/Opal⚰️🚬" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2050739https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2050739I’ll be 16 in 3 hours, and somehow my mom has managed to make me feel like all I want to do is be dead by those next 3. I should’ve known, I could never have a birthday. I don’t deserve to be happy on my birthday. I’m not the kid she wanted anyways, only her precious baby boy deserves to be appreciated. I only deserve to just, die. I should’ve known I don’t deserve anything other than to suffer. Mon, 12 Jan 2026 03:09:11 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2025308https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2025308I think I might be on the path to recovery, even after my friends brutal passing I’ve started doing a little better. I haven’t been able to take my meds as often since they don’t do well with alcohol ingestion. But I hope soon I’ll be able to, I got addicted to energy drinks for a bit but I managed to quit. Switched over to coconut water, stopped smoking too. I feel proud, just got certified for A...Mon, 22 Dec 2025 04:40:39 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1998620https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1998620I’m scared to, having to face his parents after he died. How do you do that? How do you face the people who basically led him there, how do you attend a third funeral in a year for a friend. I feel so exhausted, I don’t even know if I can do it anymore. It’s not worth me taking up space, everyone’s right. I’m pathetic. I’m no good sober let alone drunk. I should’ve done everyone a favor a long tim...Sat, 29 Nov 2025 04:42:40 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1996457https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1996457I don’t understand, why would you do it? Why’d you take your life, I thought it would’ve been me first. I hope you weren’t in pain, I hope it was quick. I’m sorry I missed the call; I’m sorry I was at work when you called I thought you just were looking for a chat. I swore I would’ve called you the next morning, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Thu, 27 Nov 2025 04:15:51 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1995533https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1995533What is wrong with me Wed, 26 Nov 2025 08:23:20 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1995386https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1995386I genuinely don’t understand why, why can’t they understand the simple idea of not everyone thinks like them. Genuinely, my first day of break, I’m nauseous, been so ill all day almost fainted at my appointment, had a meeting in the morning, a test right after the meeting, had to take so many pain meds I genuinely couldn’t think, and yet it’s my fault for not knowing they didn’t want fucking solut...Wed, 26 Nov 2025 04:34:03 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1992947https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1992947God I feel so disgusted by myself, I feel appalled to think I have the audacity to believe I deserve to Eat a meal. I feel disgusted that I believe I deserve anything but suffering. I honestly hate the people who surround me sometimes, I hate those who think they’re my friends. I have a twat clinging to me at school and I’ve told her to get away from me, genuinely I wish I could isolate myself fro...Mon, 24 Nov 2025 03:26:49 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1990698https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1990698I feel so ashamed watching my friends come to me for help, I hate when they text me sometimes and I can’t help but feel sorry for myself. I hate relapsing, I hate self harming and drinking whenever I feel like shit. I genuinely feel so shitty it kills me. I don’t deserve to have friends, I hate how awful people make me feel when I open up about it. I hate how I can think better when I’m not sober,...Sat, 22 Nov 2025 04:24:58 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1988457https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1988457Everytime I come home I get screamed at for something, genuinely it’s starting to make me never want to come home. It sucks to believe I sometimes wish I’d never make it home so my family realizes they wasted all their time screaming at me rather than asking me how my day went.Thu, 20 Nov 2025 01:22:11 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1988393https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1988393I lost my 5 year sobriety, but I am trying to work towards it again. Even if I struggle, sports need me. And I need sports, I just hope I don’t drink myself to death before I get back on that court. I’d die if I could never compete again.Thu, 20 Nov 2025 00:02:41 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1986051https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1986051I can’t do it anymore, I can’t even get up for school, I can’t even answer my friends, I can’t do it anymore. I’m seriously done trying just for it to not matter. Wouldn’t matter if I was gone, everyone would move on so quickly. What’s the point tbh Mon, 17 Nov 2025 20:01:20 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1983072https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1983072I’m in so much pain, the fact a grown adult shoved me into a door because she wanted to get into the show disgusts me. I’m house manager and the moment we opened the doors she shoulder checked me, couldn’t get through so when I opened the second door she slammed me against the door handle. I not only stepped out for almost the entire show, but I threw up, I haven’t slept in 3 days. I was riddled w...Sat, 15 Nov 2025 05:34:23 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1982015https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1982015I feel like I’m ready to hurl, my head hurts so much, I feel so sick. I can’t sleep, I’m so stressed. I’m so done, I want to cry so badly but if I do it’ll hurt more.Fri, 14 Nov 2025 05:46:28 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1981936https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1981936Truth be told I don’t want to move on, but I know if I don’t I know how drastic I can be. If he’d asked me to pull the trigger on myself oh how I would, if he asked me to do the most insane thing I would’ve done it if it meant just one more conversation. But he wouldn’t ask me to hurt myself, he wouldn’t even ask me to talk to him. The best decision is to block someone you know hates you. You can’...Fri, 14 Nov 2025 04:07:23 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1980929https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1980929I’m locking the fuck in Rn, swear on my life this hw is gonna get done, hangover is gonna be so insane im gonna hurl everywhere, praying to god alcohol poisoning gets my ass, I’m locked in Rn. Show nights, 4 nights in a row, atp in my life I might as well rawdog them all and get zooted to the sky. Im sick and tired of ts honestly, genuinely. Put me underground I am tired of being here, I cannot wa...Thu, 13 Nov 2025 05:19:41 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1980732https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1980732I struggle myself with substances but watching my two friends turn to that shit hurts more than ever, one of them is a senior and watching him slowly destroy himself has hurt me more than ever. The only times he’s been sober have been when he hangs out with me and my friends, I’ve almost lost him this year and it’s scary. Then my other friend or well ex friend has been hanging around people who va...Thu, 13 Nov 2025 01:33:12 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1979358https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1979358I’m so grateful for my friends, I was in so much pain today but they managed to help me pull through. They’re awesome and I love laughing hysterically with them about our AP Psych class, they’re coming to support me with flowers for the play. It’ll be my first year as House manager, then either next year or my senior year they’ll support me when I go off to college. I thank them everyday for being...Tue, 11 Nov 2025 21:47:18 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978556https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978556I don’t even care how I’ll feel in the morning, just anything. Anything by god, it’s been well days,or even weeks, I don’t remember anymore. Even before this, everything. I hate how dependent I’ve become in this, I can’t remember anything anymore. But anything to not remember how much it all hurts. It’ll be worth it sooner or later honestly.Tue, 11 Nov 2025 04:00:20 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978502https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978502I can’t wait to start college next year, I feel so proud of myself to be able to get to that point. So early on as well, I hope I can continue to make myself proud and do great stuff. I know younger me would be so excited to know we made it this farTue, 11 Nov 2025 02:54:44 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978501https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978501I can’t wait to start college next year, I feel so proud of myself to be able to get to that point. So early on as well, I hope I can continue to make myself proud and do great stuff. I know younger me would be so excited to know we made it this farTue, 11 Nov 2025 02:54:41 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978429https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1978429I feel guilty for feeling guilty, I feel guilty for feeling, I feel guilty for existing. I hope, some day this guilt will stop hurting me. I hope one day, I’ll wake up and understand how to live without it feeling like I’m on autopilot. I pray one day you’ll understand, I didn’t want to argue. I just knew I wasn’t doing anything right, I wish the world knew that I loathe my every breath. I reckon ...Tue, 11 Nov 2025 01:38:48 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1901970https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1901970Sophmore year!! I’m so nervous tomorrow I see the cast for the great gatsby play my school is doing. I hope I make it:3Thu, 04 Sep 2025 12:46:50 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1493307https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1493307I got influenza-b D: my body hurted, and my tummy hurt a lot! But I hope it go away soon!Sun, 23 Mar 2025 16:44:46 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1489138https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1489138I just got on here! It seems so cool! And exciting :3 I hope I have a good time on here and I can look back when I graduate Fri, 21 Mar 2025 03:40:58 +0000