https://blog.spacehey.com/user?id=346559The most recent Blog Entries by the User "derealhighzation" on SpaceHeyhttps://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1355802https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1355802Sat, 11 Jan 2025 00:35:22 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1252344https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1252344this last mercury retrograde really ripped me a new one. and yes, this is absolutely astrology related (isn't everything?). Last month, well in July, I moved to a new state and got a period two weeks later. It was slightly odd for me since I was on the IUD and I don't typically bleed, but I figured it was just changing hormones (lol). Sure, my nipples looked a little odd, and my boobs were getting...Mon, 02 Sep 2024 22:57:05 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1225041https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1225041when dreams do what the books say they do, i get reminded of what i brushed off in the day. last night i wore red sleeves. i was going to work (one I knew in my waking life), thinking i could do without my uniform. red sleeves, passionate about what i do. i have the knowledge and experience and all the skill to go with it. my dream nudged me about my lack of, or just terrible, work ethic. i once w...Sat, 27 Jul 2024 00:37:38 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1215134https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1215134 Finally, I'm somewhere where you can see the faint glow of the Milky Way during the most silent 9pm. I'll always love the sounds of human joy, but I never knew how much the city polluted my front door with damning noise. I don't get to hear the kids and lambs bleat but I think I can almost hear the stars.  This New Mexico town may not be able to be classified as "small", but it's cozy compared to...Sat, 13 Jul 2024 04:04:44 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1167322https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1167322I'm giving up the past and the pain, in my writing and in my veins, for a feeling that's truly great. Scrap the past, toss those pages in the trash. I don't want to read what I write that is untrue unless it will free me and make me feel new. I'm going to be sunny and bright; I won't only scribe in the night.Fri, 10 May 2024 20:39:10 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1147231https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1147231waiting for it to come to me while i gather all that lays in front of me no, only my favorites we're going somewhere brand new and the rest will have to find a home for themselves i cannot cry for everyone and everything or i will be crying forever or i would never smile again  i'm sorry you'll have to hurt,  to feel when i drop you to the ground i cannot carry you any longer only my favorite thin...Mon, 08 Apr 2024 04:54:04 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1099369https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1099369quick writeup of the idea- fate but multiple ones divided into individual realities ex, a magic 8 ball shows a YES to three different outcomes all are true but what feels true for you later will depend on the reality, which is chosen by you* and your beliefs and actions, you're on, rather than the magic ball being wrong twice this would be part of where manifestation comes in if you TRULY* cannot ...Wed, 07 Feb 2024 21:46:15 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1048056https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1048056I'll take the chance I'll bleed the bad out of you and cauterize the wound Hope I don't kill you, have to hide the body and forget you They'd call me murderer, your heart in my hands I'll take the risk of prison or guilt Abandon the house that we built Make you feel nothing but light, all the darkness out of your sight Out of the purest of love I'd give myself up to raise you aboveFri, 05 Jan 2024 23:40:23 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=944413https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=944413the population grows the chance of being the only one lessens only a century or two ago, it was great to be great now you must be great and greater and greatest a fair competition for us all to want your name to be recognized and your gifts to be appreciated now there are less faces than names to be remembered your hands get lost in the circle for they are not great or greater enough i feel it isSat, 28 Oct 2023 05:59:00 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=853931https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=853931Being in the middle, Or a peacemaker; A bridge That doesn't fully connect- You don't belong to either side, or worse, You belong to both, with no hand For yourself. Still, You can't belong because you are both. You are also neither. Trying to fit everything in the wrong body. Like an emotional man or    an assertive woman, You are right, But you are wrongThu, 17 Aug 2023 04:22:55 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=803965https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=803965… you’ve become distracted, but you’ve been working on something else. You should have been. It is time to go back. Come back. Make up magic and dance amongst illusions. You can be happy already and still love the magic. You should. You will pull away (/be pulled) from things. Away from “the world”.  Spirit will help take care of you.  You’ve been told before. Fri, 14 Jul 2023 15:34:13 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=767073https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=767073Wed, 21 Jun 2023 21:56:01 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=601231https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=601231I’m fearing dependence  On you, on us I’m having a hard time trusting Your capabilities, ours Like a doe with a buck That can’t protect against a gun  If I don’t need you now I can live without you that day And I don’t want my Legs to wobbleTue, 21 Feb 2023 22:09:41 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=578685https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=578685There were better hoodies out there There are more comfortable couches and bedsThu, 02 Feb 2023 07:48:12 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=551874https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=551874Trees can slide down a hill Bees can sting or they can drown Orbweavers won’t bite yet say they will I can try to shove my fears down Buried in a well too deep Not scared they’ll rise in my sleep Anything could happen If I had my way Everything would happenFri, 06 Jan 2023 22:32:08 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=539496https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=539496Of the Ice Age Germs spill into my water  Once thawed they’ll grow The Melt crashes like a tidal wave  The ocean pushes and I quake The bottom runs over my feet and  Sand through my hands What’s old becomes new again Snow catching on my tongue The past makes me sick and Keeps my insides coldMon, 19 Dec 2022 22:45:04 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=529908https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=529908Once I was standing here and felt like I was remembering something that hadn’t happened yet.  Today I am the memory.  Intuitive-   my foresight was always 20/20 Caring for me as long as I’m unhappy Supporting me as long as I never leave I’m less sad when I know better and believe it I can’t be sad when there’s everything to gain Today is a memory and today will remember                    ~LMon, 05 Dec 2022 17:38:46 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=519909https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=519909It was over long before you thought to fix it I was long gone before you asked me to stay I want to tell you that I don’t trust you I won’t trust you You shouldn’t trust me A million miles away and I lie to your face And you don’t know it- Or maybe you do- But it’s too late It’s too late to get me backSun, 20 Nov 2022 22:17:43 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=515592https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=515592In my dreams I want you more than anything In my dreams I need you more than ever And every moment I spend without you is a moment I use to cut myself I think I’d punish myself forever if I lost you If I didn’t grab hold of you while I can I have to make me yours if I ever want to belong to myself In my dream sMon, 14 Nov 2022 19:29:44 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=514103https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=514103What was once dark is now deepSat, 12 Nov 2022 08:49:43 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=512606https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=512606writing everywhere but here but I do wanna maintain this blog at least somewhat.  I’ve fallen in love and the feeling has been returned But there’s a small voice in the back of my head that craves loving the way we used to This new loving doesn’t want to hurt, oh but I wish it would (I don’t really) The shoulders of the young want to be shaken, the chin does want to be shoved. The young want pain ...Wed, 09 Nov 2022 20:30:47 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=482262https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=482262gotta stop pretending like i stopped needing what I've wanted my entire life. but i've wanted it so bad before that i risked my life to get it. i've risked my sanity to get it. and if i had it, i would always choose it. i want to always choose love. Mon, 19 Sep 2022 01:39:02 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=456297https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=456297i feel constantly and consistently misunderstood i feel like the minute i just let myself genuinely be, is the same second im a problem Thu, 04 Aug 2022 05:28:34 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=453351https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=453351Distance and low serotonin with raised dopamine mixed with patterns borne by trauma- that’s what made me crazed with limerence. I wanted your romance only when it was impossible to have. Your friendship, your understanding and the way we just flowed together- that’s what I knew already existFri, 29 Jul 2022 00:15:51 +0000https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=452969https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=452969everything i did, i did for me. but i hoped it could be for you too.Thu, 28 Jul 2022 05:39:39 +0000